The one thing that bothers me most about being in this industry, and trust me very little actually does bother me, is when I'm chatting away with a potential client and he/she asks that one question all "real" Search Engine Marketers hate to be asked... "Can you guarantee us number 1 in Google?"

Before I dig too far into this, let me help those people not familiar with the SEO industry to understand the full complexity of this question. Asking a Search Engine Marketer if they can guarantee your company the number 1 listing in Google (for whatever keyword) is the equivalent of asking a professional baseball player if he could guarantee a home-run with every at-bat. Unless that player is Barry Bonds, and even then he'd have to be hopped up on some major steroids, the answer will ultimately always be "no". The same applies for search engine optimization.

As with the baseball example above, there are several uncontrollable factors that come into play when trying to rank a website. Granted there is much we can do to influence the rankings, but the decision of which websites rank and where will always be up to the search engines, and in this case Google.

No big deal... right? Explain why this is not possible to the client and everything will be fine. Well not exactly. The reason why I am bothered by being asked this question is because it's usually followed by... "Because I just finished speaking with a company that could and I am highly considering going with them." And thus, this is where my problem lies.

I do not have a problem with clients checking into other SEM firms, hell that's just smart business, but I do have a problem with SEM firms guaranteeing such crap as the number 1 "organic" position in Google. Everyone in this industry knows or at least should know by now that such a guarantee is complete and utter bullshit, but convincing the potential client that you're in fact speaking the truth and the other company is full-of-it is quite difficult, and in most cases impossible to do.

Well, if that company can guarantee you the #1 "Organic" position in Google, than your best bet is to go with them. But hey, no hard-feelings... I'll see you again in a few months when your website is either permanently banned from the search engines or when your pockets are near empty.

To my knowledge, there are only 2 reasons why a company could make such a guarantee. One is if the SEM company plans on using some serious "black-hat" or spam-like techniques, which will no doubt get you desirable search engine rankings for a few weeks, but eventually Google and the other engines will find it and ban your website. Or, two is if the SEM company plans on using some very non-relevant keywords with little to no competition. In most cases this would mean ranking high for keywords that no one is searching for and thus your website does not receive the traffic it needs to justify the cost of your SEO program... and you go broke!

Think about it.